All People Are Difficult, But You Shouldn’t Be Too Difficult secure functioning stan tatkin Dec 19, 2018

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

As a couple therapist, I know how difficult people can be. Actually, as a person on this planet and a romantic partner to my wife, Tracey, I count myself as one of those difficult people. Indeed, in no way do I put myself above any of the other annoying people out there. Y...

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Pause, Allow, Soften, Breathe, Appreciate: PACT Therapist Self-Care for therapists secure functioning uri talmor Dec 13, 2018

Uri Talmor, M.A., L.P.C.
PACT Level II
Boulder Colorado
http://www.consciousheartintegration.com/

A couple come into my office, already in argument mode. They emanate Neanderthal-reptilian contempt, talking over each other, and perceiving most of what comes out of the other’s mouth as an attack.

Imme...

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How Learning to Facilitate PACT for Couples Helped Me Finally Meet the Love of My Life attachment for therapists secure functioning sefora janel ray Nov 20, 2018

By Sefora Janel Ray, MFT
Berkeley, CA
http://therapytothrive.com/

I had no idea when I took the PACT training to become a couples therapist that it would affect my personal life so dramatically. I can confidently say now that the reason I’m in a secure relationship is because I took the PACT training...

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Power Dynamics and Management of Thirds: Avoiding Triangulation in Therapy coregulation debra l. kaplan for therapists thirds Nov 14, 2018

Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LPC, CSAT-S
PACT level 1
Tucson, AZ
debrakaplancounseling.com

Couple therapy is challenging, and some clinicians find it too intimidating to attempt. They worry, for example, that a misattuned observation could alienate not just one but both partners. There are also potential issu...

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One Way Memory Impacts Your Relationship (and it might not be the way you think)  conflict for couples inga gentile memory secure functioning Oct 23, 2018

Inga Gentile, MFT
PACT faculty
Oslo, Norway
www.ingagentile.com

“Why does she always seem to get clingy right when I have to go out of town for work?”

“Why does he lock himself in his office after work and watch Netflix while I’m alone in the living room?”

Many couples experience confusion and frust...

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Back to School with the 3Rs allison howe for therapists secure functioning Sep 16, 2018

Allison Howe, LMHC 
PACT Level II 
Saratoga Springs, NY 
www.facebook.com/AllisonHoweLMHC

As PACT-trained therapists, it is perplexing when we find ourselves working with a couple who are not moving into secure functioning. There are a number of factors to consider: Is there a deal breaker that hasn’t...

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Using Quality Moments to Soothe or Bypass Core Vulnerabilites for couples inga gentile secure functioning Aug 13, 2018

Inga Gentile, MFT
PACT faculty
Oslo, Norway
www.ingagentile.com

Many couples tell me they simply don’t have the time they need to set aside to address issues in their relationship daily. They are too tired at night, mornings are too hectic, and their days are a blur. However, there are things they can...

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Creating Community, Deepening Intention carolyn sharp community for therapists retreat secure functionng Jul 15, 2018

by Carolyn Sharp, LICSW
PACT level 3 candidate
Seattle, WA
http://www.carolynsharp.com/

One of the richest aspects of the PACT approach is the experiential, embodied nature of the sessions. Over the course of a 2- to 3-hour session, couples develop a felt understanding of one another and of a new way ...

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Secure-Functioning Essentials: Taking Care of Yourself and Your Partner at the Same Time for couples neuroscience secure functioning stan tatkin Jun 17, 2018

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Many partners ask me how to take care simultaneously of themselves and of their partner. In practical terms, this can be difficult to carry off. Similarly, some couple therapists find it difficult to convey the principle of simultaneous care to couples they treat. This blo...

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Relationship Repair Rut: Why It Happens and How to Get Unstuck conflict eva van prooyen for couples repair May 14, 2018

By Eva Van Prooyen, M.F.T.
PACT certified couple therapist
evavp.com
[email protected]

Relationships are messy, and all couples experience conflict. Becoming skillful at repairing those conflicts quickly is the ultimate goal, but when we are in distress, under threat, or in the heat of an argument, it can...

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When Partners Become Parents: Using Pact to Create a Birth Bubble birth for therapists parents patricia williams pregnancy third Apr 15, 2018

Patricia Williams, LCSW
Westchester, NY & Vermont
PACT Level 2
patriciawilliams.net

As a couple therapist, it has long been a passion of mine to help couples prepare for the birth of a child, not only prenatally but post birth, as well. There is substantial evidence that marital satisfaction declines ...

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The Gift of Win-Wins for Couples Who are Parents children for couples kara hoppe parents Mar 18, 2018

Kara Hoppe, MA, LMFT 
PACT Level 2 
Los Angeles, CA 
karahoppe.com 

I recently became a parent to a beautiful baby boy, and I can speak from my own experience when I say that the struggle of mothering and coupling is real. I now have a new appreciation for the complexity and depth of parenting and par...

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