Early in a relationship, the goal is not to force certainty too quickly. It is to build a foundation that makes trust, collaboration, and repair more likely over time. In the PACT model, secure functioning means both partners actively work to create a relationship in which each person’s safety, dign...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT and Developer of PACT
Can two people build a shared life around a nonnegotiable issue? If you are asking, “Can we make this work without either of us betraying ourselves?”, understand that not every conflict is a problem to solve by compromise; some require a deeper decis...
by Liane Daiter, OT Reg. (Ont.), SEP, PACT Level 1 Clinician
Do you ever wonder what you and your partner (romantic or otherwise) are actually doing together? What purpose does your relationship serve?
Stan Tatkin, founder of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), emphasizes the im...
by Eva Van Prooyen, MFT, PACT Certified Therapist
You’ve done it! You’ve found the “love of your life” and ceremonially declared your love by promising “forever and ever, ‘til death do us part” with your “one and only.” Now what?
The final scene of a fairytale or rom-com fades off into a beautifu...
Every couple hits bumps in the road — misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, and moments when stress or fatigue lead to conflict.
What sets thriving couples apart isn’t the absence of disagreements. It’s how they approach them.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, developer of the Psychobiological Appro...
by Allison Howe, LMHC, MA, EdM
PACT Certified Therapist, PACT Faculty
As a couple, it's not a million problems that bring couples into therapy but generally a few of the same things on repeat.
These repeated experiences cause fresh injuries each time and unfortunately, many couples don’t heal the ...
by Beth O’Brien, PhD, Licensed Psychologist
PACT Certified Therapist, PACT Faculty
How do you look at your loved one?
After months or years together in a committed relationship, it’s easy to become complacent — meeting your partner’s gaze with neutrality or forgetting to look at them with love at a...
As the holiday season approaches, many of us are reminded to pause and reflect on gratitude. For PACT Institute cofounder Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, AMFT, gratitude is not just a seasonal theme — it’s a daily year-long practice that sustains her as a clinician, partner, and teacher.
Gratitude m...
It’s common for couples to enter a relationship with hopes, dreams, and a vision of how things should be. But sometimes, these expectations — about how a partner should behave, how conflict should unfold, or what love should feel like — don’t quite match the realities of everyday life with another h...
By Teena Evert, MA, LMFT
PACT Level 2 Therapist
Picture this: two climbers roped together, navigating ice, snow, and steep rock faces on a remote alpine peak. Each step is taken with care. Each decision, a matter of trust. They move as one — because in alpine mountaineering, your survival depends on...
by Caroline Russell Smith, LCSW, PACT Level 2 and
Karen Berry, PhD, PACT Certified Therapist
It is amazing how much can go wrong in the first 30 seconds of a sexual encounter! When couples come into my office to address differences in sexual desire, I reassure them that these differences are normal ...
By Joy A. Dryer, PhD
PACT Certified Clinician, PACT Faculty
“And I’m not your mother!”
“No. You’re much sexier.” Eddie reaches for Eve’s hand. She pulls it back.
Eve shakes her brown curls ‘no’ and gazes past him at the floor. “Your mother bought one cupcake with a stupid candle for your birthdays...
