by Simon Banks, MA, PBANZ
PACT Level 3 Clinician
Introduction
A few months ago, I had an experience that subsequently inspired me to write this paper. My partner and I were at another couple’s house for afternoon drinks and nibbles along with their new neighbors who, unknown to us prior to the even...
Stepping into the work of couple therapy often brings a mix of curiosity, hope, and healthy nerves. Even for clinicians with years of individual work behind them, the energy in the room can feel jarring — where two nervous systems, two histories, and two sets of defenses interact in real time. The P...
by Manpreet Singh, MS, LMFT
PACT Level 2 Clinician
In my practice as a marriage and family therapist, I often find that couples underestimate the impact that loss can have on the fabric of secure functioning. Losses are present from the moment a dyad is formed, as each partner begins to integrate a...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
Over the years, I’ve noticed a recurring question among therapists encountering PACT for the first time. It usually sounds something like this: How does PACT fit with what I already know? How does PACT integrate with other models?
PACT is integrative by design, but what m...
By Hans Stahlschmidt, PhD
PACT Dean of Students and Faculty, Senior Core Faculty
Over the last few weeks, I’ve caught myself thinking — again and again — about men. Partly it’s because I’m preparing for an upcoming workshop, and partly it’s because of the version of masculinity that’s been loud in o...
By Hans Stahlschmidt, PhD
PACT Dean of Students and Faculty, Senior Core Faculty
We appreciate moments that signal growth and momentum within the PACT community, and welcoming new faculty is certainly one of them. This year, we’re thrilled to welcome two new clinicians into our faculty: Morgan Hart,...
by Beth O’Brien, PhD, Licensed Psychologist
PACT Certified Therapist, PACT Faculty
How do you look at your loved one?
After months or years together in a committed relationship, it’s easy to become complacent — meeting your partner’s gaze with neutrality or forgetting to look at them with love at a...
By Sashi Gerzon-Rose, LPC
PACT Level 3 Therapist
Getting locked into a state of threat and perceiving the other as the enemy during times of dysregulation is a perennial problem for couples. This state is pernicious in its impact, both short- and long-term. In the moment, it prevents crucial collabo...
As the holiday season approaches, many of us are reminded to pause and reflect on gratitude. For PACT Institute cofounder Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, AMFT, gratitude is not just a seasonal theme — it’s a daily year-long practice that sustains her as a clinician, partner, and teacher.Â
Gratitude m...
By Hans Stahlschmidt, PhD
Dean of Students and Faculty, Senior Core Faculty
I want to address a misunderstanding I’ve encountered both inside and outside of PACT circles over the last few years: that our strong emphasis on co-regulation might suggest an endorsement of codependency, or even a toleran...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
PACT Developer
As a couple therapist, I know how difficult people can be. Actually, as a person on this planet and a romantic partner to my wife, Tracey, I count myself as one of those difficult people. Indeed, in no way do I put myself above any of the other annoying peopl...
It’s common for couples to enter a relationship with hopes, dreams, and a vision of how things should be. But sometimes, these expectations — about how a partner should behave, how conflict should unfold, or what love should feel like — don’t quite match the realities of everyday life with another h...
