Power Couplesā€¦Activate! attachment for therapists maxims pact community pair bonding secure functioning Aug 13, 2014

by Eva Van Prooyen, M.F.T., PACT faculty, Los Angeles CA
Website:  Eva.VP.com
Email:  [email protected]

Healthy, secure relationships are a source of vital energy. PACT therapists know people feel good when they understand how to be successful partners. We are energized by a secure...

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Red Sky in the Morning, Sailors Take Warning arousal attachment pact community pair bonding secure functioning Jul 11, 2014

by Elaine Tuccio, LCSW, PACT faculty, Austin, TX
Email: [email protected]

One of the most common complaints made by couples who come to therapy is that they feel they do not know how to communicate well with one another. The words “we have problems communicating,” or...

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Betrayal Causes Trauma arousal attachment brain for therapists ideas pair bonding stan tatkin Mar 16, 2014

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

In matters of betrayal—lying, cheating, stealing—the breach of the attachment system is acute and often long lasting and can be understood neurologically as a trauma-related problem.

Franklin and Zeynep, a couple in their early 40s with two young children,...

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The Ten Commandments for a Secure-Functioning Relationship attachment for couples ideas pair bonding partnership prevention secure functioning stan tatkin vetting Dec 26, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

  1. Thou shalt protect the safety and security of thy relationship at all costs.
  2. Thou shalt base thy relationship on true mutuality, remembering that all decisions and actions must be good for thee AND for thine partner.
  3. Thou shalt not threaten the existence...
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No Pain No Gain brain for therapist ideas maxims pact pair bonding secure functioning stan tatkin stance therapy Dec 11, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

Therapy is only useful for changing people who are experiencing sufficient distress. This is not to say that education, consultation, or brief counseling will have no effect. People often benefit from couple counseling for premarital or other short-term...

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On Being Found arousal attachment dog dopamine eyes for couples love mutual regulation pair bonding stan tatkin Nov 09, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

A study by Nagasawa and his colleagues in Japan (2009) some years ago involving dogs and their owners found that if a dog looked into its owner’s eyes by finding the gaze first, the owner’s oxytocin levels went up. (I suspect dopamine might...

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Folie Ć  deux attachment couples for couples ideas isolation madness pair bonding prevention social engagement stan tatkin Aug 31, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

As a species, we are more herdlike than we are hermetic. Both tendencies exist in our society, but we tend to be happier and healthier when we herd as a group together than when we isolate ourselves. In fact, it has been established that even individuals...

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Partnering Up: Falling From Space (or Grace) attachment courtship for couples mature love pair bonding prevention rocket stages stan tatkin typologies Aug 15, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

Stages of Courtship

I realize this is a rather lax stage theory of courtship, so forgive me in advance for using a rocket analogy to describe how relationships get off the ground. But understand, I’ve had rockets on my mind for several years while thinking about...

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Attraction to Psychological Approaches approaches couples for therapists ideas pact pair bonding stan tatkin theories Apr 14, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

I’m an avid lover of theory, all kinds of theory—psychoanalytic, systems, humanistic-existential, and so on. I think my appreciation of theories grows as I age, as does my appreciation of people, relationships, music, art, and politics. As I...

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Each Romantic Partnership is Unique attachment for couples ideas pair bonding stan tatkin Feb 20, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

Much like a fingerprint, every romantic partnership is unique. The intersubjective, phenomenological system formed between two separate nervous systems can never be exactly replicated, nor is it likely to be fully understood by the participants.

If the...

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Train Your Partner attachment for couples ideas love maxims pair bonding partnership persuade stan tatkin teach train Feb 12, 2013

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

In case you haven’t heard me say this before, we come to relationships basically feral, untrained, and barely parented. Therefore, as romantic partners we must train one another to be in secure-functioning relationship. This IS NOT accomplished by...

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Find Your Mentor Couple for couples ideas modeling pair bonding parenting prevention stan tatkin Dec 26, 2012

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com

One of my mentors, Marion Solomon, introduced me to the brilliant idea of mentor couples. Also known as marriage mentors and sponsor couples, this concept originated in the church setting but is becoming increasingly popular. Basically, a mentor...

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