by Eva Van Prooyen, M.F.T., PACT faculty, Los Angeles CA
Website: Eva.VP.com
Email: [email protected]
Healthy, secure relationships are a source of vital energy. PACT therapists know people feel good when they understand how to be successful partners. We are energized by a secure...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Therapy is only useful for changing people who are experiencing sufficient distress. This is not to say that education, consultation, or brief counseling will have no effect. People often benefit from couple counseling for premarital or other short-term...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Having a “couple bubble” helps maintain a safe and secure ecosystem that keeps intruding, destructive elements away. The world inside the couple bubble should be more safe, more secure, more encouraging, and less stressful than the world...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Many of you who know my work or take my training have heard me talk about the difference between security questions/security answers and reality questions/reality answers. However, I do not think I have written about this specifically so here we...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
This addendum to my previous post, Train Your Partner, is intended to clarify another important concept in relationship management. So many of us struggle with how to “parent” or “train” our partner when we feel rejected,...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
In case you haven’t heard me say this before, we come to relationships basically feral, untrained, and barely parented. Therefore, as romantic partners we must train one another to be in secure-functioning relationship. This IS NOT accomplished by...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Do you ever have an itch on your back you can't scratch yourself? Do you ever ask your partner to scratch that itch only to be frustrated when he or she continually misses the "right spot?" Missing the spot once or twice is forgivable. But what about...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Our brain is biased toward making war than love. Our brainstem and lower limbic structures are always on the lookout for threat and danger. And painful memories are more easily made than pleasurable ones. This bias serves the human imperative "thou shalt...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
This is based on the principle that adult romantic primary attachment relationships are more difficult because of their psychobiological weight -- memories, expectations, fears, threats to security, etc. Primary partners tend to become "deep family." Like...
