By Beverly Baker, MBA
PACT Institute Executive Director

Are you curious about what goes on behind the scenes? About how events are produced or what goes into an art exhibition? As a logistics nerd, I am just as fascinated by the process as the result. Any event I attend, from art galleries to sporting events, intrigues me not only by what it is but, just as importantly, by how something can be presented in its best light.

This holistic view deepens my appreciation of a well-executed event. When I see a less than thoughtful display, it takes me out of the experience. One of my biggest pet peeves is a thick ornate gold frame that dominates rather than highlights a piece of art. It is a distraction and negatively impacts my experience and the true star, the work itself. 

Watching the Olympics and Paralympics with my family this year gave me fuel for my logistical curiosity. From field prep to crowd management, I was in awe. But it was logistics in the form of support given to...

In the fall of 2009, several fellow clinician colleagues of Patricia Hart, PhD, and Hans Stahlschmidt, PhD, told them that they were “very excited about this interesting guy” who had a new model of couple therapy, and they invited Hans and Patricia to hear him speak.

So when Stan Tatkin came to Berkeley to talk about a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT), Hans and Patricia were there to listen.

Now, after 15 years of learning and practicing PACT, Patricia and Hans say that becoming PACT therapists has radically improved their respective practices and also strengthened their marriage. Hans and Patricia have been together for 35 years!

After co-teaching and supporting students to succeed in PACT Level 1, they are both taking on teaching Module 2 of PACT Level 2: Working with Difficult Couples this fall. Next year, they will teach all of Level 2 while Stan focuses on developing and teaching new PACT programs. We are thrilled to have Hans and Patricia take the...

Excerpted from the second edition of Wired for Love

By Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
PACT Developer 

Who are we as relationship partners? How do we move toward and away from (literally and figuratively) those we depend on? It always amazes me that couples can be together for fifteen, twenty, even thirty years and the partners still feel they don’t know each other. In so many ways, they don’t know what makes each other tick. 

Becoming acquainted with our primitives and ambassadors helps us answer these questions to some extent. But not everyone responds the same way in a relationship. The balance of power within and between the primitive and ambassador camps differs from person to person. Not everyone’s ambassadors, for example, can rein in their primitives equally fast. In fact, due to the variance between your brains, you and your partner may experience different interactions between your primitives and ambassadors. 

So, we each come to the table oriented...

By Allison Howe, LMHC
PACT Certified Clinician, PACT Faculty

Couples come to our office in distress. They want to feel better. For me, PACT therapy provides medicine for the couple. PACT is an approach designed to alleviate the symptoms that come from an insecure, unfair, insensitive relationship that isn’t operating in a way that works for both partners.

If we define therapy as “medicine,” we need to understand its constitution. What are its active ingredients? How is dosage determined? What does an overdose look like?

Have you ever overdosed a couple? I have. I know what that looks like, and I now know how to avoid it.

Therapy as Medicine

If medicine is “the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease” (Merriam-Webster.com), then to me, PACT therapy is medicine.

PACT has the potency – not as a chemical substance but as a medicinal approach – that restores and preserves the...

By Joy A. Dryer, PhD
PACT Certified Clinician, PACT Faculty

“And I’m not your mother!”

“No. You’re much sexier.” Eddie reaches for Eve’s hand. She pulls it back.

Eve shakes her brown curls ‘no’ and gazes past him at the floor. “Your mother bought one cupcake with a stupid candle for your birthdays. She made no big deal of Thanksgiving or other holidays. She was so different from my mother, who made me feel special when she celebrated events important to me.” She then looks directly at Eddie.

Eddie juts his chin forward, “You know that my mom’s parents couldn’t afford gifts so they let birthdays, even Christmas, slide. Also, well, you know, my mom believed in tough love. My parents didn’t spoil us."

Eve stamps her foot. “That’s an f-ing excuse! Making kids feel special doesn’t mean you spoil them!”

Eddie shifts in his chair. “I don’t see what this has to...

By Daniel Scrafford
PACT Level 3 Therapist

In my early professional years, I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?

— Carl R. Rogers

Carl Rogers’ quote describes how he saw the therapeutic alliance in individual therapy. A therapist needs to develop an alliance with clients to ensure a successful outcome in therapy (Stubbe, 2019). Rogers’ brilliance is reflected in his theory, his techniques, and his ability to emotionally resonate with the client. In relationship therapy, the therapeutic alliance is made up of several facets. Both partners must believe the therapist is competent, the therapist is an expert in addressing their problem area, and the therapist has the capacity to empathize and resonate with the client’s emotional field. 

This paper will explore how therapists can use their...

Dear PACT Community,

Happy 2024! As we enter the new year, I’m excited to take this opportunity to look back and reflect on what the PACT Institute has accomplished and to let you know about this year’s plans for continuous growth and improvement – ours and yours!

Looking Back: We’ve Learned and Grown Together

• PACT Level 3. We offered the new and improved PACT Level 3 training for advanced PACT clinicians, and forty clinicians completed the rigorous training, enabling them to develop a more complete command of advanced PACT skills. We’re proud of all of our Level 3 graduates!
• PACT Certification. We created a pathway for PACT certification. Two separate cohorts, a total of twenty-two clinicians, were invited to attend and achieved this highest level of PACT training, conferring the distinct title of PACT Certified Therapist. 
• Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI). We’ve included DEI training as a required component for successful completion...

By Angela Aiello, Ph.D. LMFT
PACT Level 2 Therapist

It’s cliché, but it was really turning into the vacation from hell:

“Oh, for f***’s sake, you’re not maneuvering in the right direction.”
“Me? It’s you! You’re the one who steered us into the muck! Try to move the oars like this!”
“I’m trying, but you’re not letting me….”

We were literally stuck in the mud, batting back and forth harsh and unfriendly tones and escalating stage-whispers that would rival any Greek tragedy. My husband and I ran aground — and we were barely out of the boat slip. This normally would be a fun embarrassment, but this was about the tenth thing to go wrong on our much-anticipated and needed trip to Hawaii.

“Oh jeez, the kayaks are lining up behind us. This is horrible! This—
“Let ME HANDLE IT!”
“But you don’t know what you’re doing!”
“Look at the sky!!!...

William Ryan, PhD
PACT Level 3 Therapist

Sarah and Dylan have been married sixteen years and have two children together. Over the last four years, Sarah has been increasingly dissatisfied in the marriage. She has repeatedly asked Dylan to do couple therapy with her. Dylan consistently responded by rolling his eyes, dismissing Sarah's concerns, and making it abundantly clear he felt pressured by her requests. Consequently, it got more difficult for Sarah to talk to Dylan about her dissatisfaction. She began to feel lonelier and more unpartnered in her marriage.

Every time Sarah brought up couple therapy, Dylan responded, “We’re fine. We don’t need it. If we have a problem, we can handle it ourselves." In this widespread dynamic, one partner pleads to get professional help for the relationship while the other balks at the idea.

Why do partners dispute the need for couple therapy? There are a multitude of reasons. Often the partner has adopted cultural prohibitions...

This month, we’re celebrating a new cohort to have earned the distinct title of PACT Certified Therapist. These therapists completed the highest level of PACT training this year, and you may see them teaching classes, offering consultation, or sharing PACT research projects.

We asked them why they wanted to become PACT Certified, what the process was like for them, if they have any advice for others considering certification, and a couple of questions just for fun! Learn a little more about each of them.

Jason Brand, LCSW

Berkeley, California

“The main reason that I decided to become PACT Certified is because of the PACT community. PACT really is my therapy-home, and I love getting opportunities to spend time with my colleagues and friends. The work of being a therapist is so private, and the work we do with couples is pretty specific, so I will jump at any chance to sit down with a group of people who really understand the PACT model.”

“I have put in lots of...