Sara Slater, MSW, LICSW
Seattle, WA
PACT Level III candidate
saraslaterlicsw@gmail.com
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Apparently the pregnant couple in my office didn’t want to talk about preparing for baby at all. Instead, in the first minutes of their first session, Meg launched into her frustrations about their house an...
by Allison Howe, LMHC
PACT Level II practitioner
Saratoga Springs, NY
Email:Â ahowelmhc@gmail.com
Do you and your partner have any mentor couples in your lives? A number of couples in my practice report that they don’t have a mentor couple in their social or support network. Yet mentor couples are im...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Our brains are remarkable organs. They take in and use massive amounts of information from inside and outside our bodies and allow us to go through about 90% of our day automatically. We can get from point A to point B while checking our emails, talking to o...
by Jami Faletti, M.F.T., PACT faculty, Los Angeles, CA
Website: jamifaletti.com
Email:Â jami@thepactinstitute.com
Have you noticed the crazy number of articles, blogs, and quizzes circulating on social media right now asking you to question your relationship? Just look at your Facebook feed and you’ll...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
A deal breaker is an issue that looks like it cannot be solved. Many couples face issues related to religion or sexuality or money or children. They might feel—and you might think—such deal breakers must lead to the end of the relationship.
For instance, one partner says,...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
- Thou shalt protect the safety and security of thy relationship at all costs.
- Thou shalt base thy relationship on true mutuality, remembering that all decisions and actions must be good for thee AND for thine partner.
- Thou shalt not threaten the existence ...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
A study by Nagasawa and his colleagues in Japan (2009) some years ago involving dogs and their owners found that if a dog looked into its owner’s eyes by finding the gaze first, the owner’s oxytocin levels went up. (I suspect dopamine might also be increased...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
In PACT, we talk about various strategies for emotional and arousal regulation. Auto-regulation is a process of self-management that is internally focused, energy conserving (because it doesn’t involve interactions with people), and somewhat dissociative. It...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
As a species, we are more herdlike than we are hermetic. Both tendencies exist in our society, but we tend to be happier and healthier when we herd as a group together than when we isolate ourselves. In fact, it has been established that even individuals wit...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
I realize this is a rather lax stage theory of courtship, so forgive me in advance for using a rocket analogy to describe how relationships get off the ground. But understand, I’ve had rockets on my mind for several years while thinking about success and f
...by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Having a “couple bubble” helps maintain a safe and secure ecosystem that keeps intruding, destructive elements away. The world inside the couple bubble should be more safe, more secure, more encouraging, and less stressful than the world outside the bubble. ...
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,
stantatkin.com
Much like a fingerprint, every romantic partnership is unique. The intersubjective, phenomenological system formed between two separate nervous systems can never be exactly replicated, nor is it likely to be fully understood by the participants.
If the noti...
