How to Create a Secure-Functioning Relationship with an ADHD Partner

adhd lisa rabinowitz Jun 13, 2022

By Lisa Rabinowitz, LCPC

PACT Level 3

Any couple's relationship can be challenging to navigate, but when one or both partners have ADHD, the usual difficulties are compounded, which can cause the couple to feel like they are lost in a maze. 

ADHD Symptoms

The three types of ADHD are inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, and a combination of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive. While every case of ADHD manifests slightly differently, here are just a few common symptoms, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

  • Easily distracted from tasks, loses things necessary for daily activities, or does not follow through on tasks
  • Talks excessively, interrupts, or intrudes on others but does not listen well
  • Reluctant to do challenging tasks over long periods, makes careless mistakes
  • Gets fidgety, feels restless, or has difficulty sitting still 
  • Driven, constantly moving

ADHD in Adults

You might be tempted to self-diagnose with ADHD, but organizations...

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3 Tips to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner

By Lisa Rabinowitz, LCPC

PACT Level 3 Candidate


By any chance, are you feeling like a roommate instead of a partner in your relationship? Have you noticed that you and your partner don’t talk to each other when you are both at home except when it comes to discussing bills and logistics? More than a few people feel hurt when their partner does not even acknowledge them. They might complain that their partner doesn’t care about them and doesn’t want to spend any time together. If this sounds familiar, know that you can reconnect with your partner in simple, positive, authentic ways that can begin to repair and reignite your relationship.

Sometimes couples wonder what changed since the honeymoon phase of their relationship or might think they are not in love anymore. As a therapist, I find it helpful to explain that during the early phase of love, often referred to the honeymoon phase, you and your partner spend lots of time together and share new...

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Nurturing Your Relationship During “Stay at Home” Orders

By Lisa Rabinowitz, LCPC

PACT Level 2 Therapist
https://www.baltimorecounselor.com 


During these unprecedented times, we are stuck in our homes for an undetermined amount of time with our partners, spending more hours with them than ever before. We might have always wished for extra time with a partner, but I’m guessing no one imagined it would be spent under “stay at home” orders due to a global pandemic.

Recently I’ve been asking couples, “How can you make the most of this time and benefit from it as a couple?”

Of course, you can watch Netflix and hunker down for the next 4, 8, or 16 weeks, but as a therapist and a person who wants to keep learning and growing, I feel like this situation provides couples with a unique opportunity for growth and connection. If not now, then when?

Know that you can weather this storm as a couple and even come out stronger from it. With structure and agreements in place – and hopefully some humor...

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Relationship Resolutions: A New Spark for the New Year

By Lisa Rabinowitz, LCPC

PACT Level 2 Therapist
https://www.baltimorecounselor.com


Every new year brings new and renewed resolutions and commitments to our work, school, family, and self. We are excited by the thought of what this year can bring. Frequently, we wonder about what new possibilities and opportunities will arise in 2020. As we reflect on our lives, we reflect on our relationships, too.

Some people begin the new year with a new attitude of hope: “Today’s a new day. I am not letting the past hold us back. This year we don’t need to keep repeating all of the old patterns. This year we don’t need to keep waiting for something to change; something can change.”  The new year begins to reignite long-held hopes and dreams. When people talk about new resolutions and new beginnings, they start believing that this is the year when things can and will be different.

Other people have wishes to meet the “one” this year or a desire...

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Do You Have Your Partner’s “Owner Manual”?

By Lisa Rabinowitz, LCPC
PACT Level II Therapist
https://baltimorecounselor.com/ 

In your romantic relationship, paying attention to your partner’s responses and attitudes is especially prudent. Observing impressions and reactions can help you become more in tune with a partner’s likes and dislikes. I refer to this practice as “obtaining your partner’s ‘owner manual.’”

For example, if I say the word rollercoaster, most people have a strong response, whether positive or negative. If I then plan a trip to an amusement park with my partner – and I love amusement parks – that’s great for me, but did I think about my partner and his reaction?

What if my partner hates amusement parks? The above example could be a win-lose situation if one of us likes rollercoasters and one of us does not. Pro-relationship couples promote win-win situations. Therefore, I need to know more detailed information about my partner to increase...

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Looking for the Baby

By Lisa Rabinowitz
LCPC, PACT Level 2 
https://www.baltimorecounselor.com

 

We have all been in situations in which we feel misunderstood by our partner. We might be left scratching our head, wondering why our partner just doesn’t get us. PACT therapists recognize that such misunderstandings or misattunements to nonverbal and verbal cues are similar to what can happen with babies and their primary caretaker(s). We know from attachment theory that if the caretaker is unresponsive, punitive, anxious, or inconsistent, then the baby may fear abandonment or withdraw or overreact, developing an insecure attachment. On the other hand, if the caretaker responds in a consistent and reliable manner, then the baby will develop secure attachment, believing the caretaker will be there for him or her in the future. As adults, this kind of signal-response...

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