Metaphors Become Reality: Helping to Secure Relationships Under Threat
By Edna Avraham, LMFT
PACT Level 3 Therapist, PACT Ambassador
“We are in the fox hole together.”
“We are rowing the same boat.”
“Don’t poke holes in the couple bubble.”
These metaphors represent some of the secure-functioning principles we use with our couples in the PACT approach. They represent collaborating and working as a team, prioritizing the relationship over self, being aware of the other’s emotional state, and being there to support them.
As PACT therapists, we normally talk about the threats between partners — and use metaphors as visual tools to help couples through real issues. With the pandemic in full force, our couples are now dealing with both real physical and emotional threats. Their economic situation, the lack of extended family support or childcare, and every day stresses put their nervous systems way out of their window of tolerance. We are most likely seeing these clients at...
How Secure-Functioning Principles Help Parents Who Are Divorcing
By Edna Avraham, LMFT
PACT Ambassador, Level III Therapist
ednaavraham.com
The Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) focuses on helping and coaching couples to “secure” each other in order to reduce threat, thrive, and grow closer. While they are designed for couples who want to deepen their connection, PACT principles can also apply to uncoupling or divorcing parents.
Some of the secure-functioning principles are:
- Thinking in terms of WE, the two people in the couple
- Making the relationship a priority over other relationships in your life
- Being sensitive and considerate of each other’s known vulnerabilities, and being able to predict how the other member of the couple may perceive your actions
- Being transparent and turning to each other for support and comfort.
Following these principles creates a secure foundation for each member of the couple to feel cared for, prioritized, loved, and considered.
Divorcing couples are often in a constant state of...
