By Kara Hoppe, MA, LMFT

PACT Level 2 Therapist

karahoppe.com

Couples have a seemingly universal ask when they first reach out for therapy: each couple, no matter their specific struggle, is on the hunt for solid communication tools. This makes sense. Communication is a crucial part of how we connect with each other. We are wired for connection.

In my September blog post, I offered some deceptively simple tips on how partners can better communicate with each other by speaking clearly, kindly, and directly. I’m now back with part 2: effective tools to help us all tighten up our listening skills. 

We long to be heard, seen, and understood by the people closest to our hearts, but finding connection through communication can get a bit tricky.  Becoming a Jedi-level listener takes practice and intention. We need to learn to be present with our own discomfort.

Contrary to popular belief, being a good listener is a learned skill, not our natural tendency. We tend...