by Clinton Power, Grad. Dip Couns/Psych., Ad. Dip Gestalt Therapy

PACT Level 2 Therapist, PACT Ambassador

All couples fight at one time or another. If you think you should never argue, you’re unrealistic. A more productive goal is to learn how to quickly and efficiently resolve your disagreements.

When there's distress in your relationship, you want to move promptly to make things better and reassure each other that you’re in this together and you have each other’s back.

Here are four ways to resolve relationship conflict quickly and reduce relationship distress:

1. Be friendly in body, touch, words, and tone.

The primitive parts of your brain are quick to identify threats. These threats can be perceived in facial expressions, gestures, postures, certain words or phrases, and tone of voice.

When your primitive brain starts to perceive threat, an increase in your body’s stress response happens, which can lead to defensiveness and further errors in your...